Perfectly "Distracted"

Today was the perfect ending to a trying week.

The best kept secret of northern Colorado is southern Wyoming. One hour north of Ft. Collins on highway 287 is a small unassuming town that holds the University of Wyoming.

Today, my sister Kelly and I went to see my niece act in a play at the University of Wyoming drama department and it was spectacular. This is not the bragging of a proud aunt, although I am. Unfortunately it was the last performance. It was amazing.

We arrived early enough to get good seats, lucky for us because it was a packed house. As we sat there, I admired the creative and innovative stage set. It looked like a work of art and so it was. The lights went down and I could not have ever predicted the treat I was in for. This play, "Distracted" touched every sense.

My aesthed got fed.

It was a total experience. The script was magnificent, the actors were top shelf, totally in character and the direction and production was beyond expectation.

I was moved.

The play "Distracted," Lisa Loomer's dark comedy about a contemporary family struggling with a diagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and whether medication is the answer.

"Distracted" revolves around one family's attempt to help their nine-year-old son who's behaviors are getting him into trouble at school and at home. His teacher thinks that he has ADHD, his psychiatrist thinks he needs medication, his dad thinks he's just being a boy and his mom is searching for answers.

This Off-Broadway hit by Lisa Loomis, the author of "Girl, Interrupted" and "The Waiting Room".

Director- Leigh Selting
Mama- Noelia Antweiler
Dad- Sean Patrick Higgins
Jesse- Daniel Skinner
Vera- Amber McNew
Sherry- Kim Lockhart
Natalie- Kat Cordes
Zavala/ Carolyn/ Waitress- Erin Rooney (my niece)
Broder/ Jinks/ Karnes/ Actor- Jason Niedbalski

My only regret was that everyone I know and everyone I don't know didn't see it.

fell madly in love at first sight

the angels placed you in my arms.
i looked down on your small delicate charms,
and fell madly in love at first sight.
under a spell i tumbled,
as though cupids arrow had pierced my empty heart,
rising victoriously with your named part.
i gasped and grasped for this hostage hearts plight.
for you see,i fell madly in love at first sight.

after that moment we were inseparable.
together we were,day and night.
you needed me,and i most certainly needed you.
like a fierce lioness,i guarded you too.
feeling your every discomfort,
as though someone had salted the wound of cupids arrow,
gasping and grasping my hostage hearts plight.
because there was no doubt,i had fallen madly in love at first sight.

as you grew through thick and thin.
i saw that you were not as fragile within.
and i felt a sigh of relief escape,
but not so of my heart,
with every minute,every day,every year
our bond grew more loyal,and with every tear
waiting for what was to come what might.
i had fallen madly in love at first sight.

all that i was,i placed at your feet.
hoping to give you the benefit of my successes and my defeats.
dreaming great dreams for you and me.
stumbling and falling from what i wanted you to see.
i had to concede to my humanity,
and sometimes i was ashamed for you to see the real me.
the truth i could not hide or fight,
because i had fallen madly in love at first sight.

we traveled the low road and then we came to the high,
together we remained, together in flight.
i started to take for granted that we would always be together,
after all we were the same flesh,the same bone,birds of a feather,
and we had come to understand through hindsight.
but you stretched your wings preparing for flight,
how could that be,how could you see,
that i had fallen madly in love at first sight.

now the moment of truth stood looking me in the eye.
i wanted to fight and i didn't want you to fly.
for my heart was yours from the moment we met.
my plan was not this,and my jaw was set.
then the angel came down with a message from me,
letting go,was the only love that the future would see.
i wept large tears-of sorrow and joy,
and said good bye to my daughters and The Boy.
for once and for all i had fallen madly in love with you at first sight.

Astrological earthquake reported

As many of you may have heard, the astrological community has reported drastic changes that apparently set astrology, as we have known it, on its ear. And me on shaky ground. I am not one of those people that every move is determined by the horoscope report in the newspaper or the Internet, but I definitely subscribe the the magnetic influences of the moon and stars.

I don't have television, so much of the current events come to me via the oral tradition. The other night, one of my fellow Gemini brought me the news about the astrological tremors rippling through the news. I'm no longer a Gemini? I'm now a Taurus? There is a new sign to fill in the gaps?

Recently I have taken up the study of great historical artists and writing about the influences of my studies on my creative journey. So by necessity, I have been delving into history in general. While I don't have the solution to the astrological problem of reconciling the shifted access of the earth and the effect that has on astrology as we know it, it is airily similar to the discovery that the earth was not flat, but round. The first conclusion was that the sun and stars were rotating around us, earth. But as we all know know that was a misnomer.

There is no way I am a Taurus, even though there are many traits I envy, and wish I possessed of the many Taureans I know and love.

I think they need to work harder at the solution instead of the easy fix, the instant gratification and use their imaginations to seek a deeper answer.

When I am painting, when I am creating, sometimes I have to dive deep to create what the canvas is calling out to say. At the point of execution, I have to reach deep into all of my experience to fulfill the destiny of the work, calling on history and experience and imagination.

Deep Thoughts

There is a question that has been burning in my soul.
I will be sitting in quiet moments and I am faced with it.
I will be in my kitchen in the early morning, like grandma Rowe use to do, sipping my coffee and there it is again.
And even in the midst of the most chaotic hustle and bustle of the day, when there is not even one spare moment,

I turn and I am facing it square and there is no way to evade, or hide or run......

What ever happen to Mel mac?
It usually came, at any given time, in three different colors and designs and it was so inexpensive. If you lost a plate or a cup, well you didn't have to break the bank, you could just go buy a new set.
I remember going to Woolworth's and choosing the yellow sunflower pattern and at the next meal I prepared, setting the table with a particular pride and confidence.
Oh those days are gone.

What now. Walmart? ugh! Ceramic from china, no I do not mean china as in, fine table wears. Although now that we are on the subject of China, as in fine table wears, I did get a new(to me) set of beautiful china. Much to my surprise and pleasure, it was made in America. I got it at a yard sale. An elderly couple moved to assisted living and the family was not interested in keeping it. Oh Joy. I love it. I plan on using it for my every day wears, and why not. The kids are gone. Karl is gone, although if he were still here I think he would agree that china is a capital choice for every meal.

As I am sitting here writing I was moved to fix myself a cup of pomegranate green tea to enjoy at the end of a long day, of course, in my china made in America.
So now I am on to other thoughts.

The Waiting Chair

In dusk's damp doorway to beyond,
You wander in perfect peace.

My heart has broken and been tossed into the waist pile.
"What use is this hair of mine. To whom shall I adorn myself"
The sound of scissors, snip, snip
Slowly, silently I watch my hair float to the floor,
like dandelion fairies on a summer's breeze.

Grief's haunting song dances around my ears
and has become my constant companion.
The world seems somehow faded,
Vibrant has left the color wheel.
My memories mingle intimately with moments melancholy.

"Let us pretend you will return in spring and even now,
you languish in some warm place waiting to return to me or I to you."

At night I hold hope high that dream's state will pull back the veil,
and give me but one brief glimpse of you.
Bargains bend my pen in desperate negotiations
with God and Angels.

Now my days are filled with detached ambition,
as I watch once youthful countenance fade
while sitting quietly at the door,
waiting for it to open to me as it did you.

How long must I wait.
What wish must I wish.
Why must I remain in the remains of the day
watching the sun set so slowly
that time seems overdue.

Oh blissful ending when will you reunite us,
and if not soon,
Please give me new life that I may re grasp my will
and live without the waiting chair.

Ribbons for Everyone

Last week, my daughter had to go out of town for the day. She needed me to babysit my five grandchildren. So I called my clients for the day and rescheduled and headed over. She was going to be gone all day and I knew that I could not leave my dogs out for ten hours nor could I leave them in for ten hours, so I planned a little field trip for the kids and I. It was an ambitious goal, but true to form I approached it with my usual "where there is a will there is a way". When I got to her house I packed lunches, snacks and hydration's. My daughter left, I loaded up the girls in the double stroller and the boys and I were on foot.
When I drove to their house I calculated the mileage at 2 1/2 miles each direction which meant our little adventure would mean that we would be walking 5 miles in all.
The carrot on the end of the stick was when we got to my house we would have our sack lunches and run in the sprinkler. My grandchildren are easily amused.
We stopped at the corner of Taft and First Street to admire the new transformer box near the baseball fields. The girls got out of the stroller and we walked around each side and discussed the design. Then we loaded back up and proceeded on our great adventure.
At the bottom of the First Street hill, Davey took a turn in the stroller and Eliana got to walk. As Caleb and Zayne ran up the sidewalk, tightrope balancing on the concrete embankment, Eliana was right behind them, doing her best to keep up with her big brothers. I see a life long pattern in the making.
At the top, Eliana took her place in the stroller and Davey joined the foot traffic.
We took 4Th Street east and took a break at the west 4Th street park where we had snacks and beverages.
Occasionally, Caleb would say, "I wonder if they are going to put it in the newspaper about our big challenge" or "I want my principle to know that we did this."
We finally arrived at my house and I was able to let the dogs out.
We ate our lunch, played in the sprinkler, cleaned up and rejoined the journey.
Spirits started to waiver and I would encourage the with, "If you complete this challenge, you will have full bragging rights" I am sure if they comprehended what that meant, it would not have had the sustaining affect. But like little troopers, they just kept going.
The last mile we had to break more frequently.
We finally made the turn from 1st Street onto Tyler. At this point I put the girls on foot and we jogged up the hill around the corner and down their culdisack. It was a real finish line experience.
When we got to their house, strangely enough there were no arguments about nap time. And oh how they napped. We could have built a log cabin with all the logs they sawed.
Eventually, they woke, and eventually their Daddy got home and as I was leaving to come home, Davey piped up "I wonder what my trophy is going to look like". now you can bet that put a smile on my face.
I came home and went to bed early that evening.
A day or so later I told my sister Kelly the story of our great adventure. She immediately went to Party America and purchased some Olympic style medals. Red, white, and blue ribbons with a gold medal inscribed in big letters "WINNER". She dropped them off on my porch.
The following Sunday, I went over and we had an award ceremony.
"Mommy and Daddy, this last week five kids met a huge challenge." I said with the utmost seriousness. The room immediately got quiet and all were listening. I continued, "Caleb LeRoux, will you please step forward", Caleb stepped forward with a proud and please look on his face, " Congratulation on meeting your challenge, you walked five miles in four and half hours" I place the metal around his neck and shook his hand.
"Zayne LeRoux, will you please step forward" which he did "Congratulations for meeting your challenge and walking five miles in four and a half hours" I placed the medal around his neck and shook his hand.
"Davey Le Roux, will you please step forward, congratulations on meeting your challenge, you walked five miles in four and a half hours." I placed the metal around his neck and shook his hand.
"Eliana LeRoux will you please step forward" She stepped forward with the same seriousness as her big brothers did and accepted her metal and shook my hand and the Gabriella piped in "Grammy, I want to step forward" the room broke into laughter.
"Gabriella LeRoux will you please step forward" and so she did.
They were all so proud of their metals. Then I looked down in the sack and there was one more medal, with a gleeful surprise I shouted, "there is one in here for me".

Karl Joseph Ruzsa July 1951- Feb.16, 2009

Dearest Most, Dearest Karl,
One year since you have gone.
Difficult , most difficult.
So much self pity, sadness, wish I could or would haves.
Waves of regret and self pity wash over me.
Denial has gone back to Egypt.
I wish not for your replacement.
At every significant moment,
I consider how you would enjoy it,
were you here.
I look at your picture, I think of our life together.
I ignore the impatience of those around me
and think only of you and your quirky self
And it makes me smile in my sea of tears.
I thought this ocean of sorrow would relent,
then waves of emotion crash over me.

But when I give into the lump in my throat and wale
The dark of the sea surrounds me,
And in the song of sadness,
I feel peace in my grief.

rOBIN dODGE