The winds of change have arrived in my neighborhood. Welcomed with mixed messages of push and pull. I so admire the people who's road is steady and predictable. I look around at my peers and I see people who are established and secure and steady. I am green with envy, I envy their security. I wonder if there is a connection to the fact that green is my favorite color.

If I change my favorite color, will my story change?

I recently put my house for sale, I am giving up this most of the american dreams.

It is hard not to feel like a failure, but I am after all the seeker of silver linings and I usually find them. Ask anyone who knows me.

I adopted out my peahen yesterday afternoon to a neighbor who has chickens, carrier pigeons and turkeys. A month or so ago her mate was murdered by the neighbor German shepherd. I am relieved she doesn't have to be alone anymore. That does not prevent me from worrying. Is she happy, is she frightened, is she safe. Sometimes I have to really laugh at myself.

I woke up late, because I could not sleep last night. My brain would not stop. I took my usual dose of children's benedryl with no luck. Around 2am I pulled out the big guns and went to the living room and fell asleep to "Pride and Prejudice"

Works every time.

I'm sitting in the Coffee Tree, mp3 playing in my ears as I read email, write blogs and get current.

People watching to Marc Cohn.

It feels good.

People all around me talking and laughing, coming and going.


The theme that keeps going around and around in my head is letting go. I seem to be in the decade of letting go. Apparently I'm not learning the lesson. Ten years ago we were readying the house for my daughter Tiffany's wedding. So much letting go since then.

My higher thinking tells me that it is not going to stop, it is my thinking around letting go is what needs to change.

Unfortunately, I have Vertigo and so I never welcome the free fall.